I'm Ang, the Princess Of China coldplay likes to sing about.
Just so you know: I am not typically as boy-crazy as I am about to be in this post, but honestly
WTF is up with the male species?
Why are you all so afraid of commitment?
Last night I had a "Study Date" with my future ex-boyfriend Jake
It was so romatical,
I should not have been surprised when he leaned in for the kiss at 3am;
With heavy eyes and an even heavier heart.
Maybe I should have just let him kiss me in order to avoid waking up with this drowning disappointment.
I had seen Jake around freshman year,
But I just met him last month after he added, messaged, and quickly proceeded to ask me to dinner. I know I know, what a bold fellow this Jake is.
So confident and self-assured, so damn full of himself.
I should not have been surprised when he leaned in for the kiss at 3am;
With heavy eyes and an even heavier heart.
Maybe I should have just let him kiss me in order to avoid waking up with this drowning disappointment.
I had seen Jake around freshman year,
But I just met him last month after he added, messaged, and quickly proceeded to ask me to dinner. I know I know, what a bold fellow this Jake is.
So confident and self-assured, so damn full of himself.
Last night was the first time Jake and I had direct physical contact (hugs are always the exception)
I was in his suite from 8pm - 3am
After the first three hours of Chinese, Hot Chocolate, and Drake
I found myself resting my head on his shoulder listening to the @theweeknd
Gradually, I felt his body caving in
Welcoming me to lay my torso on his left side
It was in this position that he offered me his right palm
Asking for my hand in his
Entwined
.
Entangled
.
Enchanted
.
We didn't leave this position for another hour
Simply resting on one another, with synchronized breaths.
Speaking
Volumes
Without ever
Saying a word
He might not have realized, but with his hands, he was dancing away with my heart.
ugh. There was also some of this:
ugh. There was also some of this:
and this:
Is he the reason why I tossed and turned last night?
ABSOLUTELY.
Why?
Because he fucking tried to kiss me
And I refused.
Well,
I don't hook up.
If he's going to be kissing me - it has to be only me.
I am not trying to DTR
I don't even want us to be a relationship
I just want to be exclusive
Exclusivity, that is all
But he freaked out and thought I wanted to be gf
and started telling me about how he's "non-committed"
because he got his heart broken after being in a 2 year super serious relationship with someone
which I understand...
but like....
why can't he just agree to be only mine for these remaining months?
(Oh did I forgot to mention he's a senior and I'm a sophomore)
why can't he just agree to be only mine?
lie to me
I'll take what I can get .
ABSOLUTELY.
Why?
Because he fucking tried to kiss me
And I refused.
Well,
I don't hook up.
If he's going to be kissing me - it has to be only me.
I am not trying to DTR
I don't even want us to be a relationship
I just want to be exclusive
Exclusivity, that is all
But he freaked out and thought I wanted to be gf
and started telling me about how he's "non-committed"
because he got his heart broken after being in a 2 year super serious relationship with someone
which I understand...
but like....
why can't he just agree to be only mine for these remaining months?
(Oh did I forgot to mention he's a senior and I'm a sophomore)
why can't he just agree to be only mine?
Me Last Night:
I don't wanna mess this thing up, I don't wanna push too far....
Me Right Now:
If you let me, here's what I'll do.... I'll Take Care Of You.
At least I gave him something that will haunt him when I'm not around.
THIS IS JUST TOO ACCURATE FOR MY LIFE CAN YOU NOT
ReplyDeleteI totally feel you!
p.s.
i hope he changes his mind.